


I'm Just Filth

by Thorki_ed



Series: Tumblr Requests/Norsekink Prompts [18]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 09:49:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorki_ed/pseuds/Thorki_ed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for this <a href="url">http://norsekink.livejournal.com/8802.html?thread=17815906#t17815906</a>:<br/>Our dear Loki is a man who hates himself.</p><p>In the night he sometimes steals off, in ripped dirty clothes, to go down into Asgards dirtiest part (yeah they for sure have one) and prostituets himself because he thinks he deserves it.</p><p>He always searches for the most brutal customers...</p><p>Give me selfhate!Loki, give me hurt!</p><p>Do whatever you want with this prompt, it shouts: "I want to be used!!!!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Just Filth

"I'm just filth," Loki whispers into his mirror. The golden plated walls of his large room whisper it back to him with the echo bouncing continuously. 

"Just," he says as he angrily rips at his collar. "Filth." With a final tug and scraping of his nails against his sharp collarbones, the shirt rips and his look is completed. Resembling the lowest of the Asgardians, he can't help but feel a tingle of excitement, for every night is a new adventure - a new conquest. With a snap of his fingers, his slick, jet black hair is replaced with cropped red hair resembling fire. His emerald eyes are pale blue. Satisfied, he sneaks out of his too-large, too-quiet, too-prestige room.

__

He wraps his wiry arms around himself as he faces the cold Asgardian winds, colder and more threatening down in the slums. He knew it would be cold, but chose to wear nothing but his torn, ratty, white t-shirt anyway. The burn forced him to remember why he was here. Forced him to remember that he was filth, and nothing more.

With his teeth chattering and frost collecting on his eyelashes, it was hard to see that tall, dark figure stalking towards him. Loki squinted and stuttered, "w-who's t-there?"

The figure laughs - his voice is deep and booming. It reminded him of Thor's. Damn Thor. Damn this guy.

"G-go aw-way," he manages, his breathe dancing in front of him.

"Oh, I think not," the haunting voice responded. He pounced. Loki felt two hundred pounds of raw strength barrelling into his chest, knocking the wind right out of them. He struggled for breath - and liked it. 

"Well you've already got me on my back," Loki says coyly. The response is met with another laugh from the man.

"Not here, you imbecile," he growls as he grabs for a batch of Loki's hair. The man was incredibly bulky, and nothing about him was delicate. His eyes were black as coal, features sharp as rock. The man's hands were overly large and dirt caked his fingernails. He is dragged to a nearby brothel, the smell of ale and sweat and roasted meats lingering in the air.

"I never agreed to come here with you," Loki spits, still insulted from being called an imbecile. 

"Listen here pretty boy, I could either break you," pausing to look Loki's slight frame up and down, "Or I could break you in." Not that he was really offering Loki the choice since they were halfway to his upstairs room by now.

Loki could have taken him on. With his extremely powerful magic, he could easily take this man down, even kill him, and take off. But he didn't. Because he was just filth. This is what it meant to be filth. To be dragged off into sketchy brothels by sketchy men.

"I would at least have your name if you're going to be so insistent on getting... that personal".

Laughter. "My name is of no matter to you, whore."

Slyly, Loki purrs, "but what would I scream in the midst of my intense pleasure?" 

The man stared at Loki, obviously at a stalemate with himself. Countless men had tried to conceal their names, but Loki knew every pig wanted the satisfaction of hearing his praises for them. How simple it would be to rob them of this pleasure if they gave a false name.

"Njord." The word barely escaped the man's chapped lips before he threw Loki into his creaking bed.

_Njord. Meaning strong. And vigorous. Let's see. Loki thought to himself._

__

"Stop! I said STOP!" Loki screamed at Njord.

Njord backhands him as hard as he can, making Loki see white flashes of light.

"Nrrgh," Loki groans as he fumbles for balance. His tattered t-shirt has become more tattered, holes stretched and ripped by Njord's greedy, wandering hands. His pants have long since been discarded but he has never felt hotter. The searing pain across his cheek is fresh, and is merely added onto the welts on his backside and upper thighs created by Njord's thick leather belt.

Both of Njord's hands quickly clamp around Loki's neck and force him to his knees.

"Open wide," he commands with the ferocity of a lion as he uses one of his hands to jerk his breeches off. Loki does no such thing - why should the fun end now?

At his disobedience, Njord shakes him violently, fingers bruising Loki's delicate neck. He forces his thumbs into Loki's mouth and tugs the corners of it, stretching Loki's lips over his teeth. He forces himself him, disregarding Loki's trashing and persistent pushing against his thighs. A wicked smile spreads across Njord's face as he closes his eyes and leans his head back in victory.

Loki notices of course. Fool. Let him think he's won. This is nothing. He pretends to try and wriggle free, knowing now that whenever Njord thinks he is being challenged, he takes it out in pure violence. Loki knows exactly what to say and what to do to provoke him. _He is my puppet,_ Loki thinks.

Njord has finally had enough of Loki's whimpering and uncooperative tongue. He lifts Loki easily and pins him to the bed. He bites down on his neck. Hard. Loki's squeal is a mix of pleasure and pain. Njord slaps him hard across the nipple. Another squeal, but more subdued. He slaps the other nipple. No sound escapes Loki's lips. Njord is controlling him, silencing the squirming whore and breaking him to the point where he may not utter a word without permission. _He is my puppet,_ Njord thinks.

__

They stared each other in the eyes for a moment, baiting the other to make a move. Njord tightened his grip on Loki's thin wrists before making a trail of bite marks down his neck, across this collar bones and down his chest. Each bite burned as if made with fangs of fire and Loki squirmed, shuddered, and gasped at every one.

Njord took a split second to rip open Loki's remaining clothing, leaving him exposed. A surprising gasp escaped Njord's lips. That's right. Not many people expect such a big surprise from me, do they. Loki thought, pleased with himself for a just a moment.

Before Njord grabbed - and hard. This drew a whimper from Loki - had Njord not wanted him to be this big? Was the only part of him keeping his ego from sinking not good enough too? Hatred swam through Loki's veins, pulsing with his racing heart. He almost felt tears as he looked down at his bruised and battered thin body. His frail, frail body. If being bedded like a maiden would destroy his body so - what hope could he have on a battlefield? He scoffed at himself.

Njord's eyes showed rage, "You laughing at me, you useless piece of trash?"

_Trash. Dirt. Filth._

"Yeah. I am." Loki's quick tongue had always gotten him in trouble - yet this is exactly what Loki wanted. Trouble meant consequences.

Njord bit the bottom of Loki's small treasure trail, nipping right above the base of his throbbing member. Njord had too prepared himself - and he was ready.

His grin was evil, his aim was sure. Without giving Loki any sort of warning, he thrusted and seemingly threw his whole weight behind it too. Loki screamed in pain; not once, not twice, but every single motion. It burned, and it had never been this painful for Loki before. Njord wasn't spectacular in size - not like Loki was - but he was brutal in the fact that he didn't bother to oil up.

 _In - con - sid- er- ate ass - hole,_ Loki thought, his brain only able to function when Njord was withdrawing. His throat was almost hoarse from his screams.

Njord's grip on Loki's thighs were leaving purple and black bruises, but he released a leg to clamp down on Loki's throat.

"Shut up, filthy whore," he grunted.

_Filthy._

Loki's eyes began watering - he couldn't tell if it was from the shame of being such a filthy, disgraceful being or from the struggling efforts of his lungs to grasp at air.

Before long, Loki woke up dazed and confused. And cold. He looked around him at the trees and the sky filling with very slight traces of orange and purple. He tried to call for someone, but his throat was much too raw.

Shut up, filthy whore . Loki remembered now. He remembered the brothel. Njord. Everything.

Realizing all his clothing had been torn off during the abuse, he was wrapped in nothing but a thin blanket that smelled of stale grease.

Tossed away like last night's grub. This is what I've become. What I'm destined to always be.

He let his form slip, and caught his reflection in the hanging icicles. Staring at himself for a few seconds taking in all the bruises upon his face and throat, he willed a small pebble near by to smash it into a hundred shards.

He sobbed quietly, wrapping the old, dirty blanket around him, feeling shame so deep that he found the blanket almost heavenly and pure next to him.

Trying to get back to his chambers was near impossible with the amount of bruises and the terrible aching between his legs. He looked down, and sobbed even harder when he spotted the semi-dried blood stains.

__

Once back in his chambers, Loki immediately takes to his luxurious bed. He can't sleep due to the pain, and he can't do much of anything else for that matter. Only when Thor knocks upon his door does he finally move.

Yanking the covers up over himself to cover the marks and bruises, he groans in annoyance, "what do you want, brother?"

"Please, we need your help," Thor pleads, his ferocious face outlined with soft features. It takes a bit of debating - after all, Loki had only recently agreed to being part of the Avengers "part-time". They convinced him it could be fulfilling. Somewhat. He was still getting used to the idea of helping people.

"What do you need for, dammit? You've got a huge green thing," he protested from underneath his blanket fortress.

"Well... He can't... It's some form of... magic," Thor managed.

Okay. That peaked his interest just a little bit.

"Loki, brother, please you are the only one who can help us. You know none of us can hope to defeat sorcery as you would. You are the greatest sorcerer, your magic more powerful than anyone else's."

Loki sighed, but Thor had hit a spot. The compliments spilled from his mouth, they made Loki feel wanted... needed. As if he were of use, or worth.

"Get out," Loki commanded. He felt Thor shuffle hesitantly, probably because Thor did not realize Loki had agreed. "If you could at least let me get my pants on without you staring I'll help your damn team." Must I dumb everything down for him?

He practically heard Thor splitting his face with that smile of his, "Thank you, brother! And you know, OUR team will surely appreciate your assistance! I shall see you at Bifrost!"

Only when the door slammed shut did Loki throw off the covers and start to get dressed. It was a drag, but he managed to look presentable. In the mirror he saw a proud prince; there was not a single flaw. He removed remnants of dirt from his hair and made it shine with magic, and with a flick, removed the grime under his fingernails (mainly Njord's flesh from the scratches Loki left him) and with practiced fingers, he traced all his noticeable bruises - a black eye and two cuts under the other, a scrape across the bridge of his nose, swollen lips with a deep cut and several lacerations all over his face until they disappeared. Njord had left his mark all right. 

It took him less than two minutes, but the concentration and amount of magic it took left him a little too tired to bother with the rest of his body. It would be safer to keep magic in reserve, for the way to Earth. His his royal green robes were billowing soundlessly out from under his dark black coat as he walked quickly to meet a very anxious Thor.

__

Whoa!" Tony exclaimed as he jumped out of the way, narrowing avoiding being crushed by Thor as he appeared in the conference room with Loki.

"Maybe I could invest in a landing pad, how's about that?"

Thor merely embraces Stark, lifting him, "Loki has agreed to help us! Isn't it wonderful?"

"Yeah. Wonderful." Stark rubs his arms, knowing there will be bruises tomorrow.

"Glad to see you back," Black Widow adds. She and Loki have developed an unlikely, and close friendship. Two outsiders who have switched sides, both relying on their cunning intelligence rather than brute strength. And their mutual love for vodka.

Loki smiles at her and accepts her little hug.  
The rest of the team, minus the Hulk, exchange their greetings, but keep them brief to give the Norse gods the latest update.

"So I guess Thor told you what's going on?" Stark asks Loki.

"More or less. Strange magical happenings. A disturbance on every continent. Lines are funny across the world. Funky weather. Yeah, I got it."

"Perfect! That's all we've got. So what've you got?"

"I'm not really sure... It's magic. Magic's hard to trace," Loki says hesitantly.

"What?? Are you kidding me? Even I could've figured that out!" Stark bellows.

"Well you haven't given me an awful lot to go on, little tin man," Loki hisses spitefully.

They stare each other down. The room fills with tension before Steve goes "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalrighty, hey Tony, don't you have a thingy that lets you see things when things go WoOOoO-wOOOooO?" as he makes circles in the air with his index fingers to indicate "loopy".

Stark is less amused, but he pulls up charts, graphs, and maps for Loki to see.

"This. This is something to go on," Loki murmurs as he studies everything. "If you could kindly leave me alone, I should think I will work faster when my IQ isn't being lowered by all of you."

Nobody protests. Everybody rolls their eyes though.

"Please brother, hurry" Thor whispers before the door clicks, and Loki is left facing an impossible task.

Loki stays up well into the night putting together stray pieces of a plan so intricate, he feels that perhaps he couldn't help after all. The sinking realization has Loki's stomach turned upside down and he fights back a nauseous feeling. A feeling he is already too used to. Even this. My magic. Cannot make me useful to anyone. What good am I? He remembers Thor pleading for his help, so confident in his abilities, and how Thor made such a big deal went arrived on Midgard, boasting to all their friends. Loki felt the nose of his bridge burn and the tears of shame sting the back of his. 

He was exhausted. Everyone else had fallen asleep, but not before poking their heads through the door pestering him and asking him if he was done yet. Pacing, Loki thought to himself Imbeciles, it takes time to decipher such an incredible amount of... of.... his thoughts wandered as he stopped in front of the giant window panel facing east. 

Magic a neon sign flashed to him. There were posters of girls in some very skimpy Midgard wear, and he couldn't help but notice how convenient it must for Tony Stark to have placed the Avengers mansion so close. He smirked, and with renewed energy, he changed. 

He snuck out of the mansion and crossed the street where he found people giving him curious looks. He ignored all of them as he made a beeline to the back. Two of the girls, who he could only assume worked there by the way they were dressed, shared a smoke break. Loki lurked in the shadows until one of them went inside. Her friend had long, flowing blonde hair and wore a strange display of feathers on her corset and skirt. Her heels gave her an extra six inches. Loki sauntered over.

"You want a show, you gotta pay like everyone else," she spat at him.

Loki merely smiled.

It took him four seconds to complete the spell, and now she hid in the shadows with his clothes folded neatly in her palms.

"Wait for me," he commanded.

"Wait for you," she responded.

He copied all her features and wore her clothes that smelt of cheap perfume. As he made his way in, the scene changed drastically. He had never been in these... strip clubs before and they were extremely different from Asgardian brothels. A smile tugged at his lips, and boy was he ready to have fun tonight...

__

"Awwww yes! Show me again!" a fat, balding man shouted to Loki as he landed perfectly on his heels after swinging wildly around a pole in the centre of the stage. Apparently his show was better than anything this club had seen since all eyes were on him. 

"Psssst," another fair blonde whispered, "when did you get so good, Lacey? Gosh!" 

Loki merely smiled, and pulled her to the centre of the stage. His adrenaline was pumping through his body in an alarming amount and he quickly sashayed around this girl, tickling her with his feather boa and stopped in front of her. He bent all the way over, giving everyone to the left a niiiiiice view, and licked his partner from chin to the tip of her nose, casually tugging at her lower lip on the way there. Oooohs and Aaaahs arose from the crowd.

The music stopped and immediately the crowd pawed their way towards Loki. 

"100!"

"150!"

He was being auctioned off. Like a cow for slaughter. He revelled in it. 

"Who wants a private rooo-OOoo-oom" he called in a sing-song voice. It drove the men nuts. 

"200"

"300"

"Come on baby, 400!"

The best increased higher than even Loki imagined. It irked him that he would have a price slapped on him, yet it gave him comfort knowing he could worth so much. As soon as the bets started hitting their thousands, Loki chose a man who was twice his size to accompany him to a secret room.

Once in their privacy, Loki flung himself onto the brute.

"Hey sugar, what's your name?" he purred.

The man smiled an evil little grin. "Brock. Now let's see how it sounds coming outta those sweet lips of yours..."

He pawed at Loki all over. Though his bruises were hidden by the fishnets he wore, he was reminded of each and every one of them as Brock grabbed. Loki moaned and gasped accordingly, and it was driving Brock insane.

"Play time's over," Brock said smoothly. Good, thought Loki, I was getting bored.

Impatiently, Brock grabbed for Loki's crotch and his hand tore straight through the netting. He laid Loki out beneath him and drank him in with his eyes. Loki almost wanted to change back into his Jotun form.

With a grunt, Brock undid his buttons and kicked his jeans aside, then scooped Loki up and flipped them both over.

"How's about a little show since I'm payin' you so goddamn much, huh?"

So he laid there as Loki stood up on the bed, turned around and bent over. Giving his ass a nice shake, he grabbed his leggings on either side and tore them.  
Brock gave a greedy, sadistic chuckle. Oh, he enjoyed that.

Turning around to face his client, Loki fashioned one leg of his fishnets into a collar around his neck, and tightened the knot. Brock's eyes absolutely shone with excitement. He could see other things shining with excitement too. With the other leg, he tickled Brock's bare chest and flicked it slightly against his nipples.

"ooh" Brock groaned. Loki flicked harder.

"OW! FUCK!" Brock yelled, "You crazy btich, what the fuck do you think you're doing!?" He cursed repeatedly, now using his arms to protect himself.

Loki said nothing and smiled.

He flicked again, and again. Each flick caught a different part of Brock's crossed arms.

"Fuck you! You're done!" Brock grabbed the fabric and pulled Loki into him. Loki fell right into his chest, and he was finally able to grab the remnants of the leggings around Loki's neck. He yanked hard and easily flung him off so that it was now Loki who laid on his back.

He slapped Loki's breasts, now at a 36D, as hard as could. Loki whimpered, but could make no other sounds with his throat being restrained. Then, as forcefully as he could, he aligned the tip of his member with Loki's opening and thrust. He pounded harder and harder until their pelvises were basically crashing into each other.

Loki wasn't in pain, he had been ravaged before, but the pounding felt like it was literally jarring his brain out of position.

To make up for the lack of girth and length, Brock definitely had the stamina. They went on for twenty minutes, Brock shifting Loki on his knees and hands, forcing him up and down his member when Loki was on top, or in the reverse cowboy when he grabbed Loki by his elbows, giving him no control whatsoever.

By the end of it, forty minutes later, Loki had been in every position, bruised from shoulders to ankles and his breasts bore two very obvious handprints from when Brock grabbed too hard to tittyfuck him. His nipples were sore from the pinching. Semen traces dripped out of him, and from his chin. Tears were at the corner of his eyes, but never spilled.

"Crazy bitch," Brock muttered as he redressed himself, "you were a damn expensive cumbucket. And it wasn't even worth it."

With that, he left Loki, naked, cold, alone, and feeling more worthless than ever. 

Sulking, he went to find the real Lacey, and give her this pitiful life back. He found her where he left her, hidden behind the dumpsters in the dark alley. After stripping what he had left on of her clothing, and re-robing himself, he walked out of the alleyway before muttering the words to grant her free again.

Back in the mansion, he crept into the conference room to be surrounded by his failed attempts to locate the magic source and dwelled on his latest failed attempt to even be good prostitute.

How do you fail at being at the bottom of the food chain? How do you mess up so much that you can't even be held on the same level as a common whore? A Midgardian whore for that matter.

The frustration burned Loki so deeply he let it all out in a silent scream. He let the rage sweep over him and lost all control of himself. His disguise wore off, and he sat there in Jotun form with tears staining his blue skin. The magic was flowing out of him, wave after wave. Chairs were knocked over, filing cabinets opening and slamming themselves shut, papers flying everywhere and the digitalized screens were flickering. Loki looked up.

_Oh. Gods._

Loki stared in disbelief. Only when the screens flicker and wave, threatening to hold their form did he realize the patterns.

Starting anew, he traced the lines across the map, lined them up with other maps and compared all the data.

Licking his lips, he tasted victory.

_I've got you now... Amora._

__

With his new discoveries, Loki was filled with purpose again. For a little while, he even felt... useful. It was an odd sensation, and something he wasn't accustomed to... but he soon found he yearned for this feeling as he yearned for the feeling of being abused. 

The sun soon shone through the windows, and the Avengers were one by one rising. Thor was of course the earliest of them all.

__

Thor stretched his muscles and took a moment to appreciate the wonderfully bright day. After freshening up, he headed straight for his brother's room across the hall. Rapping upon the door, he called out for Loki.

"Open up, brother! I am eager to hear of your progress!" Silence. "Loki?"

Thor was used to being ignored, and unlike back home, where Loki's doorknob had been long broken off and never replaced, his door in the Avengers mansion was in tact. And locked.

Thor decided not to kick down the door, as impatient as he was. Perhaps he left us his notes in the conference room? With this new idea, he bounded the stairs, three at a time. He poked his head into the room, and to his surprise, found Loki. Asleep and in Jotun form.

Thor suppressed a giggle as he found his younger brother curled up in a ball, much resembling a kitten. His soft breathing was almost like a purr as his slight frame rose and dropped steadily, his green cloak wrapped around himself tightly. He had the most blissful look upon his face, the sunlight bouncing off him, and Thor knew he could wake him from such peaceful slumber. He carefully closed the door before finding breakfast in a hurry and planted himself outside the doors, sure to guard his brother's rest.

__

Natasha rose and yawned. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and thought about what she had seen yesterday when Loki and Thor arrived. Loki was always quiet, but his eyes were never quiet. Yesterday, they were screaming. Natasha couldn't quite place her finger on it, but she knew something was wrong. Careful not to wake Clint, she got up to get ready for the day. 

Being the hard-working agent she was, she went to visit the conference room first. Perhaps she could pick up some sort of clue now that she was well-rested. Well, any clue Loki didn't already find. As much as she prided herself on being the most clever of the group, she knew Loki's presence meant that was no longer true. After all, he continually beat her in chess, even though she was the reigning champion among them. Still, she appreciated that he never boasted about this, and let her keep her title.

She turned the corner to see Thor, surrounded by a giant bowl of oatmeal and a whole supermarket of fruits.

"Uh," she barely managed before Thor slapped his finger on his lips to signal her to be quiet.

To answer her dumbfounded look, Thor whispered between bites of banana "Brother is sleeping. Do not wake him. Looks so peaceful."

Natasha nodded her compliance, and slowly turned the doorknob to see for herself. A second later, she closed the door again and looked back at Thor. She gave him a soft smile, with teary eyes. She had never seen Loki in such a vulnerable state and it tugged at her heartstrings. Though she and Loki shared secrets and fears before, he never allowed himself to seem weak, but Natasha had seen through it. To see it just then reminded her he could easily be hurt, and that was something Natasha would personally see to to not happen. She planted herself next to Thor and stole the apple out of his hands. Thor returned her smile, happy to have company. He offered some of his oatmeal, lifting his massive bowl - and Natasha struggled to keep from snickering.

In Thor's hand, filled with deliciously smelling cinnamon oatmeal, was Steve's shield.

 

A little later, Tony and Bruce find Natasha and Thor sitting down in their picnic and before they can even ask, Thor and Natasha say in unison "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Now, Tony knows better than to ask, because when Pepper shushes him, and he doesn't... Well. There are consequences. Bruce asks with confusion, "wh...y are we shushing? Shouldn't we be going in there to figure this out?" He points to the conference room doors.

Natasha fiercely shakes her head, "No, Loki's sleeping. The poor guy probably stayed up til sunrise working on that stuff for us. Let him sleep!" 

Tony snorts, "Tash, he's not a baby, stop mothering him." Natasha rolls her eyes. 

Thor looks at him seriously, "If you steal a look at my little brother, you might retract your statement, Tony Starkson"

With that being all the invitation he needed, Tony peeked inside. Bruce tiptoed to look over his over. "No.... way." His breathe was barely a whisper. Quickly, he took out his cell phone and zoomed in to snap a picture.

Returning their heads outside, Tony smiled, in a teasing way. "Well I'm never gonna let him forget that!" 

Bruce looked concerned. "Do you think he found anything? The room's a mess! I wonder what made him go through every piece of paper we had. Wouldn't he have told us first before drifting on? WHY IS HE BLUE?"  
While his whispers were getting more frantic, he was interrupted. 

"Why's who blue?" Clint asks, reappearing from the staircase.

Tony just puts his hands up, "Don't worry. I got this." He whips out his phone and shows Clint what he missed.

"No.... way." Clint stares with wide eyes.

"I know right?! That's what I said!" Stark was getting much too amused.

They finally all settled down, passing the phone around and discussing what Loki must have come up. Natasha secretly sends the picture to her own phone. Clint catches this, but doesn't say anything, though his jealousy is boiling.

Steve finally comes down to see everyone in front of the room. He chuckles, "What? Did the cranky little trickster kick you all out for - HEY, THAT'S MY SHIELD, NOT A BOWL!"

All too late, the combined "shhhhhhhhhhhh"s were drowned out by Steve's shouting.

"What?" He asks. They all wait and stare at the doors. Steve finds himself staring too. _What are we all waiting for?_

__

Silence. A minute passes by. When they all relax again, thinking Loki miraculously slept through it, the doors fly. They don't just fly open either, they fly off their hinges.

"Aw man, come on!" Tony tries.

"Come." was the only word from Loki. His voice was strangled, like his vocal cords were constricted or something, and he was tired. The bags were apparent against his pale skin now that he returned to "Aesir" form or as Tony would so rudely put it "not freaky form". His clothes were wrinkled from being slept in, but he was immaculate as always.

He presents all his findings, and it takes hours to explain the intricate plan that was being weaved. "Each continent held a specific location for a rare Norn stone. Created by the Norn Queen, Kornilla, they have no business being here on Earth. They are used to open portals to the Nine Realms. They can transport anything here, and I mean extremely dangerous things that Earth certainly doesn't want here... like Frost Giants."

Tony laughs, "Well you're one but you're here, right? Besides, we could take you on, so what's a couple more of you?"

Thor and Loki stare hard at him. Thor rests a hand on Loki's shoulder and says quietly, "do not let the Man of Iron get to you, brother. He is most unaware of how things are away from Midgard."

"Yes, humans are fools, I get it." Loki snaps. Addressing Tony, he explains, "I'm nothing like a Frost Giant. I'm not giant. I was raised an Asgardian, and I was only there to begin with because I was found in the snow. Thrown out of Jotunheim for being so small and left to die."

The others are uncomfortable and Tony mumbles an apology that Loki doesn't care to hear.

Now his attention focused on Thor, he asks, "Do you see the patterns created by the disturbances, and the time differences?"

Thor studies them. "I do not understand brother, Karnilla has always been an enemy of Asgard, but what would she want with Midgard? Is this to... hurt us?"

Loki snickers, "This is no work of Karnilla. The stones are hers, but not her magic."

Thor is confused, "You mean, she is not seeking revenge on you for turning her away from your bed?"

The rest of the Avengers gawk. Loki is aware and hisses at Thor to shut up.

"As Queen of Nornheim, I assure you she has no time for these schemes," Loki continues. ("YOU TURNED DOWN A QUEEN?" Tony shouts)

Ignoring him, Loki presses on, "In fact... this is the work of the one YOU turned away, brother.

With a sly grin, he flicks his cape over his shoulders, shakes the hair out of his eyes and exits the room.

Now all eyes are upon Thor, demanding an explanation. All eyes except for Natasha's, which caught the deep purple bruising when Loki straightened himself out.

She pays no attention as Thor drabbles on about some Amora woman, the once-apprentice of Karnilla before she was banished. 

She leaves the room, tapping Clint once above the elbow as she did so. The signal for I-need-you-to-come-find-me-as-soon-as-this-is-over.

__

"Hey," Clint grabs Natasha's elbow as she is reluctantly pulled away from the punching bag. "What's going on?"

Natasha for a moment, caught up in her rage and fury, forgets. Then she remembers and doesn't know if telling Clint it a good idea after all. He's got a damn big mouth.

"I.. uh.." But before she can even begin to spin her lie, Clint gives her the don't-try-that-with-me look.

"Is this something to do with Loki?"

Natasha feigns surprise. "What?"

"Oh come on! I saw you ogling him as he walked out of the room, your eyes were practically glued to his butt!"

Natasha laughs. "It's not that at all, fool." She kisses him lightly to reassure him. When he relaxes, she confides in him. "I think Loki's .. caught in something. Something bad." 

That catches his attention. "Go on..."

"Back in the conference room, I saw these deep bruises on his neck when he shook his hair away. They were bad, Clint. And they were purple. Fresh. Somebody's hurting him, and he's keeping this from all of us and... I guess I'm just worried."

Clint knew she had a soft spot for Loki, and even though he didn't show it, he had one too. Especially after hearing his story of being left to die. Nobody deserved that, not even the I-almost-killed-your-teammates-oh-and-controlled-you Loki. He had forgiven all of that. Deep down, he knew Loki was one of them now. 

"What should we do?" He finally asked.

"We?"

"Well you've now told me, and whether or not you like it, that means I'm in this. He's still an ass, but he's of us now. I don't like it when people injure my teammates."

Who knew he was such a team player?"We need to find out what's going on first... Maybe I should talk to him tomorrow? It is getting pretty late now." Loki had taken almost 6 hours explaining their situation after all, mainly because he had to backtrack and explain terms that the team, minus Thor, had never heard of. Magic was a hard concept to grasp, especially for Tony. 

"That's a good idea. He does like you more than the rest of us," Clint says "- and he better watch himself," he adds.

Natasha giggles and asks if he's coming to bed.

"You go ahead, I wanna get in some training too, y'know. Don't wait up for me." He smiles, they share a quick kiss, and as soon as she's gone, he slips outside and into the night.

__

Loki waits until the sun is replaced by the moon, which he seems to feed off of. He quietly leaves the mansion, dressed down to just black pants and a green t shirt. He checks left and right to see he is not followed, and leaves to cross the street. He doesn't think to look upwards.

Again, he finds himself outside Magic and finds the side door open. Deciding it was too risky to be "Lacey" again, he waits. Soon enough, he has his chance. Taking on a slender, shorter woman with hair as black as his, he casts his favourite obedience spell again. As commanded, she hides in the shadows to await Loki's return. Loki steps in, and doesn't surface for another three hours.

__

Clint can't believe what he's seeing.

After snooping around the conference room for any clue of what Loki was doing, he heard the door click and ducked behind a huge filing cabinet close to the windows. He heard footsteps getting closer to him and held his breath. Peeking ever so slightly out, he recognized Loki and followed his gaze out the window. Magic? Loki wants a hooker? But after returning his gaze to see Loki, he saw that the poor man's face was one of despair. He had longing in his eyes, but not lust. That's not a face of someone who's about to be laid

As Loki left, Clint followed. He perched on the rooftops, waiting for Loki to leave, before quietly following him. 

Now he was in the dark alleyway of Magic where Loki had just stood. And transformed. He made his way behind the dumpsters where Loki led the young woman. But, when he tried to ask her for her name, there were no answers. He bent down to look at her face and it struck him - her eyes were glossed over, a pale blue-white. He recognized that. She was being mind-controlled. 

Clint climbed to the roof of the club and waited for Loki to reappear. When he did, he had barely half the clothes he had on when he went in. He changed before Clint could look away and released the girl from his control. Clint noted that his whole body was covered in bruises. His lip was bleeding badly, and he watched as Loki let it run, staining his shirt. After Loki made for the mansion, Clint sat and processed everything he had seen. It took him ten minute to finally get up and back to the house. He had a bad feeling about telling Natasha...

He snuck into his room without waking her, and gently sank down in bed. She turned into him without waking, and he knew her heart would break at hearing this. Before long, he was fast asleep.

__

Natasha rose the next morning, feeling refreshed. She let Clint sleep, and headed downstairs for some coffee. To her surprise, it was Loki sitting at the kitchen table instead of Thor, the usual early bird. 

"Morning," she chirped. She never chirped, but the sight of Loki always warmed her, made her more gleeful.

"Morning," he replied, a little quiet. He offered her freshly brewed coffee and she accepted greedily. When she thought he wasn't looking, she slipped in a little vodka from her flask.

"Rude not to share, you know," Loki said slyly as his eyes never left the newspaper in his hands.

"It still unsettles me how you can do that you know," she says, but pours some in his coffee too.

Deciding to take advantage of their time together, she grabs the chess set from above the fridge. He folds the paper and sets it aside, eagerly accepting her challenge. They share comfortable silence as their pawns fall quickly.

"Loki..." she starts. She had to know. "Yesterday, when you were leaving, I noticed something... off about you."

He looked up at her questioningly, "oh?"

She knew he would make it difficult. 

"I saw the bruising around your neck," she finally spilled. Loki stiffened. A few seconds passed as she stared at Loki while he stared at the chessboard. 

He knocked her remaining bishop over, and replied "not a big deal. they were deserved." There was truth to that. "Are you going to make a move?"

She did, but only because she knew if she didn't, he would just up and leave. "Loki, why would you ever think you deserve that!" she almost yelled. There was deep concern in her eyes.

"You don't understand. Besides, they were my choice." He takes down one of her rooks.

"You... you chose?" She was confused. "But... why?"

"None of your business." It came out harsher than he meant, but he wasn't about to tell her anything. A knight taken down.

She reached to grab his wrist, "It is my business. You are a friend. I will hurt anyone that hurts my friend." Her voice was laced with coldness.

"I don't need your friendship!" Loki snarls before wrenching his arm back from her grasp and storming out.

He was one move away from a checkmate.

__

Clint stirs when the warmth beside him is missing. He dresses to go find Natasha - but she flings the door open and slams it shut before sliding down the door on her back, hands over her face.

Clint has never seen Natasha cry. He's frozen with a mix of amazement and fear.

Tentatively, he reaches her to comfort her.

"He - he said he didn't need my friendship! I- I was the one who - who listened to everything he said a- about his past, and his pains. I told h- him all of my secrets too! And he j- just walks away!" she manages between heaving sobs.

A dumbfounded Clint gathers the nerve to ask "what did you say to him?"

"I just asked about those stupid bruises! And then he went all cold and icy and for a second it was like the crazy Loki was back! He said he chose to have to bruises - what the hell does he do? Strangle himself at night for fun? He said he deserved it! Has he gone mad?" she quickly turned from upset to angry. She continues to talk about how upset she was.

__

Outside their door, Loki hears her words of anger and can't fight back tears. He hurts everyone. He was destined to be alone and isolated. He had a friend - a good one - and couldn't keep her. But his secrets were just too deep. He hated every part of himself. How could I be so greedy? To hurt my best friend like that?" He wanted to apologize, to share stories with her and play chess with her, or watch their favourite movies. But he couldn't. He turns to walk to his room and lock himself away.

__

After Natasha exhausts herself from crying, Clint starts. "Uh, Tash... There's something you should know." With that, he tells her everything he saw, and Natasha's eyes grow as big as saucers.

"Oh god..." she whispers.

__

At night, Loki tries to sneak out again but to his surprise, lights are still on in the house. Curiously, he peeks around the corner and in the main lobby, blocking the front doors is Natasha. 

"Loki," she says, deadpan, no longer with warmth in her voice. It drove through Loki's heart like a stake. 

"Natasha," he returns, less confident and more shaky. He wishes more than anything to hear her voice talk to him without all this anger. But he knew he deserved it. He never deserved to have her as a friend in the first place.

She just sighs and flings her arms around him. Completely stunned, his arms are immobile at his sides.

"I - what?" 

"Just shut up and give me a hug already," she demands, but her tone was playful, and it seemed like he, by some miracle, was forgiven. So slowly, he wrapped his arms around her and just held her slender waist for a moment. Besides Frigga, nobody held him with love, and she had long stopped doing so because she was afraid of "embarrassing him". He slowly let his silent tears drop, and Natasha felt him tremble. She held him tighter, running her hand up and down his back whispering "shhhh, it's all going to be okay" over and over again, struggling to keep her own voice from wavering, though she could feel the stinging of her own tears as well. 

When he finally broke their embrace, he began to protest, but she cut him off.

"Loki, I can't understand what you've been through, and certainly not what you're going through now... but you've told me about the past, and I hope you can tell me about what this is all about," gesturing to the bruises beneath his collar. 

He looked doubtful, and still offered no explanation. He opened and closed his mouth before uttering a single word.

"But it's okay. It doesn't have to be now. Right now, I just need to beat you in chess," she offered him a warm smile. He returned it, and decided that perhaps he didn't have to leave the mansion tonight.

Loki and Natasha stayed up for what seemed like an eternity. Game after game, Natasha took her defeat gracefully. Loki even showed her where some of her mistakes were. She grew fonder and fonder of him, and vice versa. By the time they were off to bed, Thor had already risen.

"Good morning Brother! Good morning Lady Natasha! Have you broken fast already?"

Loki grumbled incoherently and patted Thor on the shoulder on his way out of the kitchen.

Natasha explained they had been up all night playing chess, and Thor explained he never understood the value in such a game with little wooden pieces.

Natasha asked Thor to sit for a cup of coffee so she could ask for his help. While explaining the situation to him, she had to constantly try and get him to calm down - which was a lot of effort.

"By gods! If I ever find this scoundrel, I shall feed him to the one you call Lochness!" His anger rolled off him in waves, but he was ashamed - so very ashamed that all this time he never knew his younger brother was suffering, and all this time Thor had not even cast Loki a second glance. 

"But it does not make sense, Lady Natasha!" Thor bellowed. "He is very capable, even I have a hard time against him, he is more fit than anyone I know of to defend himself!"

Natasha patted his hands, "I know Thor. But he said something about... about choosing the bruises. I think he's punishing himself."

Loki was not the only smooth tongue around the house. During their late night talk, Natasha caught on to very subtle things and pieced an explanation on her own. Her guess was as good as golden - after all, she had a knack for it.

"Now help me get the team together. And don't tell Loki." she gave him a stern look. Thor nodded. 

Together, they split and hunted down the remaining Avengers.

__

 

Loki tossed and turned in his sleep. Nightmares ravaged his mind and he often woke in sweats. of course, this was nothing new to him, but nonetheless he willed them to stay away. Flashes of Laufey, of the Chitauri, of Asgard, of Thor all emerged in his dreams. He still had no home. He would never be welcomed anyone. Not even Asgard, where he claimed to have a chamber. The people of Asgard always eyed him suspiciously, and when he walked at night in a different form, he heard whispers that shamed him further.

"Thor's judgement is of no concern to me. Loki will always be a traitor"

"Of course Thor forgave him, Loki's always been able to trick Thor."

"Thor's a fool and I'd rather be damned than be caught looking like one. Believing Loki. Pfft."

 

_Homeless. Heartless. Worthless. Useless._

These are all the things I am, Loki thought before sinking into another nightmare.

__

When he woke, he realized it was time for dinner. His stomach growled at him, and he rose and prepared slowly.

When he made his way downstairs, he came face-to-face with the entire force of the Avengers. He was almost intimidated, but they all smiled at him.

And that was odd.

"Hi?" he shrugged

Natasha spoke first, and gently. "Loki, you've been such a great friend to me and..."

Clint finishes, "you've definitely proven extremely helpful to this team. We never would've found this Amora chick without you."

The Hulk stepped forward and crushed Loki in an embrace. "Hulk like tiny blue man"

When he put Loki down. Loki chuckled, which further hurt his ribs, but that was okay, he found.

Tony even put his snarkiness aside and said genuinely, "I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time. I know you've proven yourself, and I know what you're capable of. I just want you to know that as much as I tease you, I don't think you're that bad of a guy." 

Steve steps up and offers him a medal, with a crest that his shield on it and other symbols he didn't recognize. "This medallion was given back to me after I woke up... It had been in my pocket, frozen with me all those years. I first received it for helping the government track a powerful sorcerer's set up in Germany back in World War II and destroy his operations before he could create some sort of deadly weapon to eliminate the Allies. I used to think he was the most powerful magic-wielder... but then I met you. I want you to have this."

He curled Loki's fingers around the heavy coin. Loki was speechless. He had tears in his eyes, but willed them not to fall. He just weaved the coin between his fingers, familiarizing himself with the smooth grooves and weight of it.

That left Thor to clasp Loki's shoulder in his giant paw and said, "Brother, we have all thought of you in highest regards when you agreed to help us. You have been humbled greatly, and have started to bloom like you once did. I am so proud of you. But it is time for me - for us - to finally ask you..." Thor dug into his pocket for something.

Six voices then joined together "Will you join us, as a full-fledged Avenger?"

Thor opens his hand to reveal an Avengers member card, with his picture already on it. As his shaky hands touch the card, the red stripe glows and he hears JARVIS announce "Loki, recognized. Welcome home."

 _Home,_ Loki thought. _He finally had a home._

No longer able to hide to tears, he let them fall freely, knowing that his friends, no matter how badly he hurt them - he glanced at Natasha, who he could swear winked at him - had come together for him. Raw emotion taking over, he let himself slip into Jotun form, which at least hid his blush, and gave a small nod. As they all gathered around him, the Hulk decided to crush them all in a group hug, and Loki breathed "Thank you. Thank you all."


End file.
